[silk] Daily Commuter

["Arsalan Zaidi" <azaidi@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hi.

I'd like to inform all concerned, that I, Arsalan Zaidi, have turned into
that most pathetic of all creatures; the Daily Commuter.

Yes indeed.

The days blend into each other and I find myself following a mind-numbing
routine as far as the commute goes. I come and go at a regular time. I sit
in the same train and in the same compartment every day. I look at the same
posters for Shah Piles Clinic (for permenant cure of Piles, Fissures and
Fistulas!) and Baba Bangali (Impotence? Foreign Travel? Marriage Problems?
No male children? Bhoot Preth? Jadoo Tona? Come meet Baba Bangali for cure
to all ailments. Jo mera jadoo katey ga, usko Rs 1000 innaam!).

\OT
Now these posters are an institution in their own right. There's this entire
class of posters and ads one sees in the local trains that just can't be
found anywhere else. The Shah Piles Clinic and various Baba ads are the most
common, but we also have party lines (For filmi talk!), Kinleys Soda (Zyada
Josh walla Soda) and Tortoise Mosquito Coils (which indulge in the most
insipid humour imaginable). There's also Gravity.com, which has to be the
weirdest name for a business ever. What's their slogan? Gravity! We pull you
down? or Gravity! Holding you back since 4,00,00,000 BC? The mind boggles.

Really OT. Has anyone noticed that all the ST bus stands in Maharastra have
ads for 'Gaey Chaap Zarda'? These ads appear *nowhere* else and are
simplicity itself. Just a picture of a beady eyed, turbaned farmer with his
mouth w-i-d-e open, *pouring* in the zarda and looking mighty pleased with
himself; with the line Gaey Chaap Zarda written below it...

\OT

Anyhoo, back to the topic at hand...

I find that my path crosses that of the same people almost every day. I've
crossed the road *twice* in front of a bright red scooter ridden by the same
sari clad woman. The Bihari's I travel with in the train the day before, I
find seated in front of me in the *bus* going to the station the next day.
Oh yeah, the bus... For the past THREE (count them, 1 2 3) days, I have
ridden the exact same BEST double decker 251 bus to the station... What are
the chances of that happening? :-) At the station, I find my self walking in
just as the 4:38 Andheri-CST train slinds into the station. I buy a couple
of packets of peanuts/chikki/vague sweets (it's best not to investigate the
origins of these too closely... I've found all kinds of surprises in the
chikki already. I've spat out human hair, strings, sutli, chips of wood and
various other unidentified (but uniformly disgusting) objects) from the same
shop every day. I think pretty soon he'll know me by sight. It'll just be a
matter of handing in the cash and picking up the goodies, no needs for
words.

"the usual saab?"

God have mercy!

I knew a daily commute to an office would be bad, but this is reeediculous!
I spend THREE (count them, 1 2 3) hours every day commuting to and from
work! I spend 2 hours everyday sitting jammed up 4 to a seat with the rest
of the commuting crowd, with some guys crotch (or butt, take your pick) in
my face. I use just about every mode of transportation known to man. I ride
to the station on a bike, I take a train to Andheri, I take a bus to 4
bungalows and then walk 400 mts or so to the office... Throw in a horse, a
screaming babe and some bad editting in there and we have a hindi movie
chase scene!

I wonder what it will be like doing this for a year... two years... a life
time. Can't help but shiver at the thought...

Anyway, I'll stop ranting now...

Back to our regularily scheduled programming...

--Arsalan.
[No. I have no idea why I wrote this.
I think it's the after effects of the chikki.]